Trust

The last 6 months have been pretty hard for us. We've had a bunch of little things and big things go wrong.

There was the microwave that broke, and then the pipe in the kitchen that leaked. Then the car was broken into and Brad's books were stolen, we also had the awful landlady who didn't care that we had no heat when it was -30 outside. Through all of that the hardest one has been how badly we wanted a baby and how we had this perfect little plan, timing wise. The plan slipped away month after month until soon there was no plan and only stress.

And then we had no heat and we moved and I can't tell you what a blessing it has been. We looked at the new place on Friday and started moving in on Saturday. It's way bigger than our old apartment and the landlord doesn't charge any damage deposit so financially and emotionally this is the best thing that could have happened to us. And it seemed like a bit of a kick from Heavenly Father saying you thought I wasn't paying attention, but I was, and see how I made things work out so well for you? Remember I'm here, be more grateful for what you have and show me you're grateful. So we kicked up our prayers and have made an effort to rely on the Lord more and I kept having the overwhelming feeling that Heavenly Father is aware of us, he knows how great the baby plan would work but either his plan is better or there's something we're supposed to learn by waiting. It's okay if a baby doesn't come when I think it should, it will come when he thinks it should. So I calmed down, stopped being so stressed about it and just trusted.

As an attempt at sanity I came up with a new plan, instead of obsessing for a week while I wait to see if I'm pregnant I decided to take the test right away, no waiting (those Dollar Store ones are only a dollar after all). That way even when I'm sure I'm not pregnant there will be no little voice in my head saying, "What if…" I can quiet it with a confirmed no and stop being so devastated when I'm finally sure it's a no. So this morning I took the test, just as a formality.

There were two lines! Two completely unexpected lines!

I don't believe it yet, I'm in a bit of shock and I’m so blessed.
Brad's going to be so excited.
L