Eden Margaret Wiebe

It took me far longer to announce it here than it should have but she's here!

I don't know how you feel about them but I love a good baby story so you're about to get mine in detail.

We'll start at the very beginning... Wednesday morning.  I woke up and was sure my water had broken.  Not a lot just a little trickle like it did with Catie so I was prepared, I know this drill.  Go to the hospital, get checked out and sent home until labour starts or until 24 hits, either way I was having a baby in the next 24 hours, not the next 6 days like I had been preparing for.  You can imagine my surprise and disappointment when they told me I was wrong, my water was still in tact.  Discouraged I headed home and considered the idea that I had 6 crummy days left.

At this point I knew I was in the very earliest stages of labour but who knows how long that can last.  I went throughout my day even if I was super grouchy and miserable.  I had the occasional contraction during the day but they were really minor and super sporadic, nothing to get excited about.

I went to bed like usual and started being woken up by the odd stronger contraction around midnight.  I could still mostly sleep through them at this point so I did my best to do just that.  I moved to the couch eventually where I dozed a little but finally gave up around 1:30 in the morning.  I had a bath and headed back to bed at 3:00 where Brad woke up and started timing things.  I was surprised how quickly things were moving because by 3:30 I was in a ton of pain, they were coming super close together and it was time to go to the hospital.  We called my in-laws and they came over to sleep at our house and be with Catie while we headed off.

They checked me in quick and asked about my pain medication wishes, they also discovered I was already 4 cm dilated.  I make no apologies about the fact that I'm no hero.  I don't like physical pain and I like labour even less so I let them know that I wanted drugs and I wanted them ASAP.  I wanted an epidural when I could have it and I'd take anything else they'd give me until I was ready for that.  They loaded me up with fentanol and when they offered me laughing gas as well I jumped at the chance (definitely a good decision).  I laboured for a while and they called the anesthesiologist down.

Now with Catie I had an epidural and while talking to other women after delivery I became more and more convinced that my epidural was no good.  Let me just tell you that I now know with a certainty that my first epidural was no good.  This one turned out to be incredible!  I may have taken a bunch of pokes in the back and the calling of a resident but it was worth the bliss that followed.  I thought the drugs had stopped my contractions, turned out I just couldn't feel them at all anymore.  I had a lovely nap and settled in while my body did just what it should be doing.  Things were right on track.

The doctor came in occasionally to check me and we joked about how I was and would be her easiest patient of the day, everything was going smoothly and it was just a matter of time.  Things continued to progress and we guessed this lady would be born around 11:00 in the morning, an hour from now.  Still super comfortable and relaxed I was enjoying my time so far.

Sadly, 11:00 came and went and I hadn't progressed for a while.  We'd just started thinking it was time to do something else when it was time to push.  After about three pushes I was pretty sure I was in trouble, I had no energy, was starving and I started to fervently pray that this girl would come quickly.  This was not in the plans.

The nurses praised me over and over again for my pushing abilities (apparently I'm a pro pusher).  Each push moved her down a little but after the push was over she inched right back.  Now is when things get worse.  I don't care how well frozen I am, internal exams are always very uncomfortable for me and this is the point where doctors and residents and nurses and interns and janitors (okay, maybe not) all came in and took their turns very roughly examining me, trying to figure out the funny position Eden was in.  Normally when babies are born they come out with the crown of their head first, Eden was trying to come out eyebrow first... not a good thing.  In fact, one doctor as she checked said, "Oops, I think I poked her in the eye".  We'd also, in all this checking stopped paying attention to my epidural and it had really worn off.  I was in a ton of pain, I'd been pushing for an hour and a half, was exhausted and became kind of broken emotionally.  I sort of lost all hope and could not stop crying.  I retreated into myself and let Brad take care of everything while I  thought of nothing but trying to make it through the next contraction.  They topped up my epidural but I was so fragile it didn't do a whole lot for me.

It finally came time to talk about options.  There were three, forcepts, a vacuum and a c-section.  Only the first two weren't actually options as Eden was still too high up for those attempts and it just wasn't safe.  C-section was the choice and while not what I wanted at least things started moving again.  They got Brad ready, they wheeled me in and got started.

This is my favourite photo... a nurse took this right before they wheeled me into surgery and like I mentioned, I wasn't really doing well.  I somehow managed to focus for a second and pull out this smile and I love how completely crazy I look.  I think it captures the moment well.

By this point they had topped up my epidural for the third time and I was finally so frozen I could feel nothing.  I was exhausted and couldn't keep my eyes open so I mostly slept though the surgery as Brad held my hand.  I did however hear those beautiful first cries.

One thing I will forever be grateful for is the conversations Brad and I had about what was important to me before any labour had started.  I wanted three things.  I wanted to hold Eden immediately after labour when she was all disgusting and gross still, I wanted a photo of Eden on the scale when they measured her weight and I wanted a video of her first (or nearly) cries.  Clearly I couldn't hold her right away but because of the conversation I had with Brad I will always have the following photos to look at and some videos of those first few moments.  He captured what I could not be there to see and because of that I think I'm able to feel far more positively about this c-section than I know a lot of women are able to.  He took such beautiful photos that I don't even feel like I missed a thing.

The video needs a little work and that's Brad's area so I'll share it another day.

Here's a much better photo of me, far less crazy.

So after the birth they asked if I wanted to see my placenta and that's something I had really felt I missed out on with Catie so I was excited at the opportunity.  I had no way of knowing that the drugs they gave me happened to give me incredible nausea and so it was barely in time that they got me a bucket to throw up in. I didn't really get to see the placenta as well as I wanted and I'm pretty sure I seemed like a pansy but it's such a small detail I'm okay with it.  I spent the next 12 hours fighting the urge to throw up and itchier than I've ever been but I'm still grateful for all my drugs.

So she didn't come at all like we imagined she would, we thought she'd be born at 11:00 in the morning with very little effort and it wasn't until 2:44 on August 9 th that they finally pulled her out.  She weighed 8 lbs 6 ounces and was 20 inches long.  She's perfect, pudgy, adorable and didn't settle until they gave her to me (that's a way to make a new momma feel good).

We're home from the hospital and enjoying our time together.  Big sister Catie has handled everything even better than I could have hoped but that's a post for another day though as I'm sure no one wants this one to be any longer.

Just a Flash

I had a moment today, but not even a full moment, it was only a second.

I was driving home thinking about Michelle about to have her baby and that lead me back to thinking about when I had Catie and how Mom was there and Brad was there and while thinking about the experience I had a tiny flash of a moment where I thought, "I want to do that again."

It sure didn't last long and it was not difficult to remind myself that it's a really awful thing to go through but I felt like it was real progress and a real step in the direction of one day having another baby.
L

Pressure

I was looking back at photos from when Catie was first born and it brought back one labour point that I'd forgotten already.

A random fact about me... I HATE having my blood pressure taken. I can't tell you how much I hate it. I have to really concentrate on breathing normally and not holding my breath during the test so it's a semi accurate reading. I hate the feeling of my arm being squeezed to death and the tingling that comes in your fingers. It was bad enough that it was tested every time I went to see the doctor but once I was in labour they had an automatic one that not only stayed on my arm at all times but tested every 15 minutes and it had an extra tight squeeze. You can see that awful arm cuff in the photo.

I complained loudly every time that stupid machine started.
L

THE Story

Okay, the labour story... I'm not an awesome writer, I feel like I can't do this experience justice but I'll do my best and sorry if it's more details than you cared to know.

So as per my last post I started to feel crappy on Friday but didn't think too much of it because I was positive that Catie would be a week late. I figured maybe these were Braxton Hicks since I hadn't felt any of those yet. I did my best to get some rest that night and I finally crawled into bed (after sleeping on the couch) around 7 am. I then proceeded to pee about 3 times in 15 minutes and decided well that's not normal and perhaps it's not actually pee. It didn't take me long to decide that my water had broken and I was leaking. It was just a little though I wasn't really feeling contractions so I sent Brad off to school and got some sleep.

I finally called the doctor around noon to see if I should get myself checked out or not and he sent me to the hospital just to make sure things were fine. At this point I think I was having pretty sporadic and mild contractions. They checked me out but I wasn't dilated at all so they sent me home with instructions to come back by 7 am the next morning if things didn't start on their own. Since my water was broken they'd have to induce me within 24 hours to avoid the risk of infection.

We got home around 2 ish and it didn't take very long for contractions to start. By 5 pm they were coming less than every 5 minutes, were around a minute long and they were starting to get pretty strong. Everything we'd read said this was the time to head to the hospital so off we went again.

They hooked my up to the monitor and checked to see how far along I was and I can't tell you how frustrated I was to hear that I was only 1-2 cm's dilated. They gave me the option to either stay and see how things go or to go home and continue to labour at the hospital. At this point the contractions were pretty strong and I had sort of hit an emotional wall. I was frustrated, in pain and rational thinking had left me. I definitely wasn't prepared for what a toll the experience would have mentally. We decided to stay and try to labour in the shower and see how things go.

This is when I made my great discovery... the shower saved my life. Everything became clearer and rational thought returned. Suddenly I was completely capable of handling these contractions a little longer and things were better. They moved us to the birthing room where I continued to spend ridiculous amounts of time in the shower.

The contractions were starting to be really painful now and they were pretty close together so we rechecked and again I was ticked off to find out I was only 4 cm's along. They offered my morphine and I took it. Second discovery... I love morphine. It helped me relax and I managed to doze a little (still in the shower :). My Mom showed up around this time and between the two of them they held my hand and talked me through the crappy-ness of these contractions. Third discovery... Brad is amazing. He held my hand, he constantly reminded me to breath, he wiped my forehead, fed me ice chips and did everything a wonderful husband should do.

Finally I was far enough along that I could have an epidural if I wanted and I was thrilled to have it! Fourth discovery... women who have natural child births are hero's, they are not for me and I loved my epidural. I could finally lie in bed and get some sleep to prepare for what I would later find out is the most ridiculous part of labour. Sadly, as often happens the epidural stopped my contractions so we sent my Mom and Brad home to sleep for a bit while they got ready to induce me. Those poor two... just after they left I started to feel the pressure of contractions again so the nurse checked me to find I was 8 cm's! Finally things were coming to a close with no need for inducing!

The contractions started on their own and were strong enough that the time to push was coming. Fifth discovery... pushing a baby out is ridiculous! At this point I'm unsure why anyone would choose to have more than 1 baby and I'm not convinced the memory of that experience will fade any time soon. Were it not for Brad and his calmness this girl would not have come out. I knew having a baby was hard, really... there's just no way to know how hard!

My one achievement was pushing that girl out in 45 minutes when the average first time for Mom's is 2 hrs.

There are no words to express the feeling of that little, disgusting girl as they plopped her on my chest and I heard her cry. I looked at Brad and couldn't believe that we could do this together, that he and I did this and now we get to hold the girl we'd been waiting so long see. She's perfect and lovely and everything we could imagine and looking into her dark eyes makes me love Brad even more. He holds her and I love them and have everything I ever need right in front of me.

So there it is, we're parents and we're in love. I realize that was long winded but how do you summarize an experience that has changed your life forever?
L

Labour

So I thought this early signs of labour thing was going to be a lot more obvious, instead I'm left completely confused about what's going on. I believe I'm starting labour but how do I know?

They tell you all these signs to help you know and make it sound like it'll be so obvious but then things get all muddled so I have no idea what's going on with my body.

Here's what I do know:

1. I feel crappy
2. I've felt crappy since about 11:00 last night
3. I'm hoping to feel significantly more crappy as soon as some sort of signal as to what's going on

Hopefully this is the start of something big.
L