I know I said I wouldn't post again but this one is kind of unique and has been coming for a while and I'm hoping it soothes my tired soul a little.
I read a lot of blogs of women who just had babies and I keep reading about how lovely, sweet and angelic their little bundles are. How well they sleep and how every moment is savored and I'm thrilled for them and glad they're sharing that things are going well.
But I figure there are some out there who are having a hard time, like me.
Now with Catie I was one of those women, talking about how nearly perfect my baby was but Eden is proving to be difficult and I'm frustrated.
I wanted you to know that if you are barely making it through every day then you're not alone. If you just wish for a long, lovely shower without coming back to a screaming child, I'm right there with you. Make-up and grown up clothes are reserved for Sunday, the rest of the week it's dirty clothes (forget about doing laundry) and pony tails. Do you have a good day, maybe two and start to think things are turning around only to have it be followed by some really terrible ones? Me too.
Has your toddler recently watched an obscene amount of movies? I'm just grateful mine is still entertained by them at all.
Dinner is getting more and more simple as the grocery shopping gets put off longer and longer and a nap sounds heavenly, but what's the point in laying down, you know that baby will either wake or you'll spend the entire time thinking you hear her waking.
Lunch? What's lunch? You have a toddler and a baby to feed, the time to feed yourself will come eventually, really.
Outings that used to be simple are now so difficult you skip them altogether and the sound of your crying child no longer evokes a sympathetic response, just a pounding headache.
I know that one day this will all be a memory. She'll grow up and learn to sleep, be on a schedule and we'll get to play but it's okay to be frustrated now. It's okay to cry and to just do the essentials to get by. Try to convince yourself that you're doing a great job, try not to take the crying personally and enjoy those moments of quiet whenever you find them. Use them for you, a messy kitchen can wait and a clean kitchen probably won't make you feel better.
And let those gummy smiles heal your heart, to remind you why this awful stage is worth it. Savor bed time songs and cuddles with your Toddler, and when she tells you she loves you make sure you stop and really mean it when you respond.