Wednesday, September 19, 2012

One Day at a Time

I know I said I wouldn't post again but this one is kind of unique and has been coming for a while and I'm hoping it soothes my tired soul a little.

I read a lot of blogs of women who just had babies and I keep reading about how lovely, sweet and angelic their little bundles are. How well they sleep and how every moment is savored and I'm thrilled for them and glad they're sharing that things are going well.

But I figure there are some out there who are having a hard time, like me.

Now with Catie I was one of those women, talking about how nearly perfect my baby was but Eden is proving to be difficult and I'm frustrated.

I wanted you to know that if you are barely making it through every day then you're not alone. If you just wish for a long, lovely shower without coming back to a screaming child, I'm right there with you. Make-up and grown up clothes are reserved for Sunday, the rest of the week it's dirty clothes (forget about doing laundry) and pony tails. Do you have a good day, maybe two and start to think things are turning around only to have it be followed by some really terrible ones? Me too.

Has your toddler recently watched an obscene amount of movies? I'm just grateful mine is still entertained by them at all.

Dinner is getting more and more simple as the grocery shopping gets put off longer and longer and a nap sounds heavenly, but what's the point in laying down, you know that baby will either wake or you'll spend the entire time thinking you hear her waking.

Lunch? What's lunch? You have a toddler and a baby to feed, the time to feed yourself will come eventually, really.

Outings that used to be simple are now so difficult you skip them altogether and the sound of your crying child no longer evokes a sympathetic response, just a pounding headache.

I know that one day this will all be a memory. She'll grow up and learn to sleep, be on a schedule and we'll get to play but it's okay to be frustrated now. It's okay to cry and to just do the essentials to get by. Try to convince yourself that you're doing a great job, try not to take the crying personally and enjoy those moments of quiet whenever you find them. Use them for you, a messy kitchen can wait and a clean kitchen probably won't make you feel better.

And let those gummy smiles heal your heart, to remind you why this awful stage is worth it. Savor bed time songs and cuddles with your Toddler, and when she tells you she loves you make sure you stop and really mean it when you respond.


Lacey said...

Aw, Laura I know how you feel. I had my second child ,dd, in September last year and my oldest ds although older than Katie, was 4. Going from 1 to 2 kids is hard. One day at a time. And from one mom to another I do know how hard it is, please do your self a favor and do your best to get 20 minutes to yourself every day. It does wonders to help. And I PROMISE it gets easier! My DD just now sleeps through the night at just after a year old. It becomes more manageable. Don't worry one day it won't feel so jumbled. <3

Unknown said...

Hang in their Laura! You are doing great.... the only mom's that can truly understand are those of us who have had a truly difficult baby. No one here in Lloyd understands. They all have such easy babies and they probably think I was just a complainer :( That was the hardest time in my life when Hailey screamed all day everyday for months. I cried everyday with her.

Tiffany Mallard said...

Ahhhh! That sucks! Both my girls have had their "difficult" times. Each stage does eventually end...sometime :) Have you tried using Ovol? I don't like using drugs on babies, but I found that it helped immensely for gas. Just a suggestion! Good luck!

Samantha said...

You know, I have had many a moment where I have felt like a bad mom because while some talk about their baby like they are rosey cheeked angel babies, I just wanted to lock myself in the bathroom. My first 2 boys were a breeze. They hardly cried. They slept relatively well. They were happy. Then I had Ethan. Ethan was a whole new ballgame for me. He is fussy, easily irritated, and VERY stubborn. He is going on 2 now and is STILL the difficult one. But, I have decided that I refuse to feel badly about getting overwhelmed. And I get ashamed of myself for ever feeling that way. No one knows your child or how stressful it may be to raise your child. No offense to first time moms, but most of the "I love my babies. My baby is so wonderful" stories are from 1st timers. They don't have anything to compare it with! They haven't had the wonder baby who did everything right just to turn around and have the evil baby with a burning desire to send you to the brink of your sanity. (Joking about the evil baby thing. I don't think my baby is evil... Most days at least) Embrace the learning experience. I know it is hard now. I still have plenty of hard days myself. Some days all 3 of my boys get on the same bad mood trip and I have to step away and breathe. You are human. They are human. Those days will come. But, and here's the silver lining, they will pass! You are doing a fantastic job and I am sure you will continue to do so.

Keep up the good work! And remember... a little crying never killed anyone. If you need to step away and take a shower to decompress for even a minute, do it. It's so much easier to handle a stressful situation when you can remove yourself and come back with a fresh mind.

Been there. Still there. We will make it out alive!

LM said...

My experience is opposite. My 1st was a much harder baby than my second. She has her things that make life hard (naps in cribs...anyone?) and I definitely put off going to any store, just the thought of hauling both kids & hoping they stay happy makes me tired, haha.
There are many hard times everyday with 2 little one. But, because my 1st was harder, I appreciate some of the things about my baby that other moms consider just normal. It makes it easier to appreciate all of the moments along the way, even when I'm trying to convince her to go to sleep before midnight, or getting up for the 3rd time.
You'll make it. You are doing a great job, even when it doesn't feel like it!

Cathy West said...

Do you need your mamma?

Jenn said...

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. Having a new baby is so hard, and a million times worse when they are difficult. I remember looking at other new moms and being jealous of how happy they were, and I was having such a hard time.
It only gets easier. I hope it gets easier for you soon.
I love you!

Debbie said...

I almost started to cry when I read your post. I'm sorry that you are having a hard time but I'm glad I'm not alone. I wouldn't trade my baby's for anything but almost daily I wonder, WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME IT WOULD BE THIS HARD!
Hang in there, I'm sure it will get better...right?