Bad, Bad Day

I expected breastfeeding to be hard, I really did. So when I left the hospital without a breastfeeding baby and a baby that needed formula supplement I wasn't surprised and it was okay. We had some really hard feeds but then we'd have some great feeds and we were making progress... really.

I could handle one problem, one problem at a time maybe even two but these three have really worn me down today.

So I have a baby who doesn't suck all that well, and then I also don't produce enough milk but it was okay, I could handle those two.

And then we developed thrush.

It's hard, I'm frustrated and I hope the medication works quickly, I've got to get rid of one of the three problems quick or I'm giving up.
L

Big Buffet

So far these new motherhood posts have all been sunshine and roses so here's the first to show any frstration.

I feel like my days are one big feeding. Every thought is...
When did I last feed her?
When do I need to feed her next? and
What can I fit in before her next feeding?

I've certainly had my moments where I've considered giving up the breast feeding and switching to a bottle, the time it would save me would be amazing but I'll push through and hope for some progress this week.
L

Photos

I'm sure these repeat Facebook / blog posts are getting annoying to some but Grandma doesn't check Facebook and the tutu photo was taken specifically for her.

There was a Wiebe birthday in Calgary yesterday so Brad and I drove up in the morning, it was fun to show off our Catie and my Sister-in-law took some fun photos.

She's just so beautiful!
L

My Wind is Tougher than Your Wind

I've found one common thread between all people who live down here in Lethbridge and South. They're all preoccupied with the wind. We expected the increase in wind, really but here's where they all make me chuckle.

There will be a day, like today, that is especially windy yet if you comment on it all of them will say the same thing, "Oh this is nothing, it gets much windier than this". Only it's really an especially windy day, it's okay to admit it. You don't have to impress me with the strength of you wind.

I'm not looking forward to the super cold winter wind but so far I've appreciated the wind on hot days.
L

Love

So in case it wasn't obvious from my story, labour was pretty awful but watching Catie as she slept on my chest made me finally realize something... it was worth it.

I'm certainly not saying I'm ready to do it again but it was worth it.
L

Laura Wiebe is discovering that Facebook is useful for a first time Mom

I've given Facebook a bad rep in the past but these days I can definitely see it's value. Being a new Mom I spend a lot of time at home and I don't expect that to change nor do I want it too. I want to be home to feed my baby and I want time to recover but the downside to all this house time is being very socially cut off.

These days Facebook has made me feel a little connected to the outside world. I thought once I quit working and didn't have those random boring times to fill my usage of Facebook would taper off but I'm pretty sure it's going to increase instead.

It's nice to feel connected.
L

Hiatus

Let's be realistic here.

This blog is full of musings that come from my interactions with co-workers / other people. Having just had a baby I have just about no interactions and I'm pretty sure it'll be that way for the next little while so as posts about Catie increase I suspect posts here will be few and far between. Sorry.
L

TMI

Like lots of new mothers there was some unpleasant tearing that came along with Catie.

I'm not so happy with Brad for this cold he passed onto me and it's helped me discover that coughing / sneezing does not feel good.
L

Irresistable

I can't get enough of this face and find myself constanty mesmerized by her.

Today I sat laughing as I watched her stretch and make funny faces. I'm not quite sure how it's possible that Brad and I made this amazing person.
L

THE Story

Okay, the labour story... I'm not an awesome writer, I feel like I can't do this experience justice but I'll do my best and sorry if it's more details than you cared to know.

So as per my last post I started to feel crappy on Friday but didn't think too much of it because I was positive that Catie would be a week late. I figured maybe these were Braxton Hicks since I hadn't felt any of those yet. I did my best to get some rest that night and I finally crawled into bed (after sleeping on the couch) around 7 am. I then proceeded to pee about 3 times in 15 minutes and decided well that's not normal and perhaps it's not actually pee. It didn't take me long to decide that my water had broken and I was leaking. It was just a little though I wasn't really feeling contractions so I sent Brad off to school and got some sleep.

I finally called the doctor around noon to see if I should get myself checked out or not and he sent me to the hospital just to make sure things were fine. At this point I think I was having pretty sporadic and mild contractions. They checked me out but I wasn't dilated at all so they sent me home with instructions to come back by 7 am the next morning if things didn't start on their own. Since my water was broken they'd have to induce me within 24 hours to avoid the risk of infection.

We got home around 2 ish and it didn't take very long for contractions to start. By 5 pm they were coming less than every 5 minutes, were around a minute long and they were starting to get pretty strong. Everything we'd read said this was the time to head to the hospital so off we went again.

They hooked my up to the monitor and checked to see how far along I was and I can't tell you how frustrated I was to hear that I was only 1-2 cm's dilated. They gave me the option to either stay and see how things go or to go home and continue to labour at the hospital. At this point the contractions were pretty strong and I had sort of hit an emotional wall. I was frustrated, in pain and rational thinking had left me. I definitely wasn't prepared for what a toll the experience would have mentally. We decided to stay and try to labour in the shower and see how things go.

This is when I made my great discovery... the shower saved my life. Everything became clearer and rational thought returned. Suddenly I was completely capable of handling these contractions a little longer and things were better. They moved us to the birthing room where I continued to spend ridiculous amounts of time in the shower.

The contractions were starting to be really painful now and they were pretty close together so we rechecked and again I was ticked off to find out I was only 4 cm's along. They offered my morphine and I took it. Second discovery... I love morphine. It helped me relax and I managed to doze a little (still in the shower :). My Mom showed up around this time and between the two of them they held my hand and talked me through the crappy-ness of these contractions. Third discovery... Brad is amazing. He held my hand, he constantly reminded me to breath, he wiped my forehead, fed me ice chips and did everything a wonderful husband should do.

Finally I was far enough along that I could have an epidural if I wanted and I was thrilled to have it! Fourth discovery... women who have natural child births are hero's, they are not for me and I loved my epidural. I could finally lie in bed and get some sleep to prepare for what I would later find out is the most ridiculous part of labour. Sadly, as often happens the epidural stopped my contractions so we sent my Mom and Brad home to sleep for a bit while they got ready to induce me. Those poor two... just after they left I started to feel the pressure of contractions again so the nurse checked me to find I was 8 cm's! Finally things were coming to a close with no need for inducing!

The contractions started on their own and were strong enough that the time to push was coming. Fifth discovery... pushing a baby out is ridiculous! At this point I'm unsure why anyone would choose to have more than 1 baby and I'm not convinced the memory of that experience will fade any time soon. Were it not for Brad and his calmness this girl would not have come out. I knew having a baby was hard, really... there's just no way to know how hard!

My one achievement was pushing that girl out in 45 minutes when the average first time for Mom's is 2 hrs.

There are no words to express the feeling of that little, disgusting girl as they plopped her on my chest and I heard her cry. I looked at Brad and couldn't believe that we could do this together, that he and I did this and now we get to hold the girl we'd been waiting so long see. She's perfect and lovely and everything we could imagine and looking into her dark eyes makes me love Brad even more. He holds her and I love them and have everything I ever need right in front of me.

So there it is, we're parents and we're in love. I realize that was long winded but how do you summarize an experience that has changed your life forever?
L