Monday, April 20, 2009

A Little Rant-y

We didn't expect it to be so easy but boy or girl we have a name picked out, that even includes the middle names. They're names that mean something to us and we really love them so we're excited to see which one we get to use.

Now to backtrack for a minute… there are a few things about pregnancy that I don't understand. It's nothing but a difference of opinion and despite my not understanding I'm completely supportive of those who think differently than me, this is in no way me telling others that they're wrong.

I don't understand not wanting to find out the sex of your baby. The technology is there, I'm not the type of person that wants that surprise. There are enough things going on that I can't control, I'll take advantage of the few that I can.

Next… finding out the sex of your baby but not telling anyone. Why find out if you can't share your good news? And wouldn’t it be obvious once you started buying only pink clothes? There's no way I'd be able to keep it a secret if we knew.

And thirdly (and this is where the start of my post comes back). I was recently at a baby shower where the Mom is due any day. They've chosen not to tell anyone the name they've picked out for their baby boy (a fine choice) and I casually mentioned that once we find out what we're having we'll have no problem sharing our chosen name. Suddenly about three women I didn't even know where listening popped in to say, "Oh no, you can't tell the baby's name. You have to have at least one surprise." That last statement… you have to have at least one surprise… why? And it's not a surprise to me, I already know the name. So why do you have to have one surprise in my pregnancy.

Another women said that people would tell us all the reasons why our chosen name is so awful and I think that's terrible! If I tell you my son's name will be Frankincense, named after my great, great grandfather who did some amazing thing, and you don't like it then if you're any sort of friend I absolutely expect you to lie to me and tell me how nice it is that I've chosen a name that means something to us. It's not your decision, it's mine.

This is all on my mind as the ultra sound date approaches and we get closer to finding out if we're have an Abigail or a Justin.

So if you're the type that loves the gender surprise and waited to tell people the babies name when you knew the sex then tell me why. Tell me what you loved about it and if you'd make the same decision again. I'm interested in understanding that point of view.

(Neither of our picked names have been included in the above post, don't worry, we're not calling our son Frankincense.)


Jenn said...

I agree, those are things that really bug me, too. One of my good friends wouldn't find out the gender because she did natural child birth and wanted the surprise to help her get through it. But she said it didn't work at all; during labor she really didnt care if it was a boy or girl, or even a monkey, she just wanted the thing OUT. And she won't tell the name either for the reason that lady mentioned, but I think that's kind of silly, too. No matter what you choose some people will love it and some will hate it, and who cares what they think anyway?

Jenn said...

Oh, by the way, not that it matters, like I said, but I really like the names. Justin has made it onto all 3 of our lists when we were choosing names for our boys.

Michelle said...

Oh my gosh, I couldn't agree more. I get it if people don't want to know the sex right away, we found out with Porter (and loved knowing!) but probably won't with our next (we'll try a "surprise"). Whatever. But not telling names? I never understand that! Are you afraid that once you tell me the name I'm going to go home and get pregnant just so I can steal it from you? If I don't like it whatever, it's your choice not mine. I'm with you on this, I don't get it.

Michelle said...

I found out both times...I like that it helped me get everything ready and could start picking out Names. Taylors wasn't that hard, we were going to use it weather it was a boy or a girl. With the triplets seriously I was having 3 to get ready for and picking out 6 names (1st name and middle) would have been ridiculous if we hadn't known.
As for the surprise may know the name and the sex, but you won't know the weight or the date till it acutally happens.

Cathy West said...

Does that mean I am not a really good friend. I will get used to the name and love it or at least love the baby and hence the name. Mom xoxoxo

chefwest said...

There's going to be some issues if you don't call your boy James after you most favorite brother. I'm still trying to convince Lucy that we should name ours Easton when we reproduce.

Julie Lewis said...

I'll tell people the names we're considering but we don't actaully pick until we see the baby. We both thought Kayleigh was going to be Sarah but when we saw her we decided she wasn't a Sarah. I can't explain why, she just wasn't. I do like to find out the sex if possible but I wasn't willing to pay for second u/s to do it with Kayleigh.

Julie Lewis said...

BTW Your baby name is perfect! ;)

The Wolseys said...

Bahahaha I love you! I think the same way. When people can find out why not!!! And then they find out and wont say names really nobody cares that much what you name your baby and keeping it a seceret is so dumb! Oh there im glad i got it off my chest, oh and one more thing when they finally say the name it's totally unremarkable right! Really nobody cares as much as you do about your own baby's name right. Oh see im glad you said it first! By the way love the name and Girls are so so much fun!!